Anxiety Control

I am usually rather open about my anxiety and depression, so hopefully the title of this post isn't a surprise to you.  There are times that my anxiety runs high.  So high, that I can't do some things that I need to get done during a day.  I often have battles with myself to literally leave the house. 

On the days where I can't think clearly or can't really do much more than sit on the couch, I knit.  When I knit, it soothes my mind and decision making is easier.  Occasionally, I get hyper focused on a project, but that is OK. 

At one point, my go to soothing knitting project was a Hitchhiker Beyond Shawl.  I loved that  project.  The way the colors striped in a rainbow of colors.  The way the yarn felt as it went between my fingers and onto the needles.  Something about it calmed my anxiety and made the nagging thoughts and tears just stop.  It was a project that I started when I was going through a rough patch.  It filled in the gaps when therapy wasn't enough and it soothed my mind.  I carried it with me for quite a few months.  I picked it up when my soul needed soothing.  I even knit it while at a Knit In Public event in Saratoga on World Wide Knit In Public Day.

These are some photos I took of it in progress.

 The past few weeks have been a little stressful for me.  I could have worked on the 2 other Hitchhiker Beyond shawls that I have been working on, but I decided to make dishcloths since they are quick and rather portable.  I like quick projects sometimes because I feel like I accomplished something, even if it is one dishcloth a day.  These are the ones that I have finished over the past few weeks.

These are some that I finished while working on Christmas gifts toward the end of last year.  Sometimes working on multiple large projects can cause me anxiety because I feel like I need to get everything done now.  The smaller projects calmed down the get it done now voice.

Every Once In a While, You Have to Learn Something New

Over the past few months, I had seen a lot of posts of other crocheters making this beautiful shawl called a Virus Shawl (I found the pattern here: https://www.woolpedia.de/english/crochet-tutorials/shawl/). 

This was the first time I learned a pattern by watching YouTube videos.  The links to the videos are on the website listed above.  I was somewhat apprehensive about learning the pattern this way.  I was fearful that I would forget how to do the pattern, but once I made it through all of the videos, it was like second nature.  Each row fell into place perfectly.  I have made 4 of these shawls so far.  All of them were made with Mandala by Lion Brand Yarn.  The first 2 photos that are below are of shawls that I made for me, the last 2 shawls are prayer shawls that I made for others.

 If you crochet, I highly recommend that you give this pattern a try.  The pattern works up quickly, so there is the satisfaction of having a quickly completed project.

After A While, I Don't Really Know Where to Start

I know I haven't posted in a while. It isn't because I haven't been knitting or crocheting. It isn't really because I have been busy. I guess it is that the spark to blog just hasn't hit me in a while. I am still Co-Coordinator of the Needlework Ministry at FUMC Schenectady. The majority of my needlework time is spent creating projects that make the recipient feel loved. My main focus has been on prayer shawls, prayer blankets, baptism blankets, and confirmation blankets.

Over the past year, I have been crocheting rainbow hearts. I have made close to 800 of them since the beginning of the year. Some of them went to the United Methodist General Conference and were handed out by Pastor Sara of FUMC Schenectady and others. Some were put out on a table at FUMC Schenectady and have been taken by those that needed a reminder that they are loved.   In less than 2 weeks, 500 of them will be making a trip to Syracuse with me for the Upper New York Annual Conference and will be placed at the MFSA booth, to remind our LGBTQIA Siblings in Christ that they are still loved even though the plan that was passed at General Conference makes it feel like they aren't. 

Even in the midst of this darkness, we need to remember that there is hope.  Even though we feel as if we stand alone, we are surrounded by the love of others. May be be led in peace.